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Villain of my own novel

Chapter 362 361. Unvoiced Questions.
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In a flash, Seo Hana found herself in a dark domain, pitch-black of you will.

She squinted her eyes as she gazed around in search of "him," and it wasn't long until she found what she was looking for.

In front of her was a dark silhouetted figure with glaring bright orange eyes with vertical black slits, with his pitch-black sclera which made it nearly invisible, while his white-hair glimmered in a profound light while fluttering, with no wind nor any light to cause such exaggeratedly fitting effects.

From the approximate gauge of his eyes, Hana derived that he was sitting, on a throne maybe. Although his face, no, except for his eyes and hair, nothing about him could be seen, due to which she couldn't see his expression which put up a certain domineering pressure on her, making her extremely anxious.

Soon, another pair of big, round cat eyes opened behind him.

The eyes were crimson, blood red coloured with vertical black slits as pupils, its irises were so red that it felt like blood would leak at any moment now.

The blood red irises which had an innocent look for a split second turned into a fierce glare, which made Hana flinch involuntarily. These eyes were almost bigger than "his" whole head, whose size she gauged in approximation.

Again, another set of eyes opened behind the "his" and the cat eyes. The new pair of eyes were bigger, bigger than him and the another being behind him, its eyes were much larger, like those that of a giant's.

These pair of eyes had all elemental colours glimmering and fiercely blazing in its bright golden irises, as if these elemental colours were....alive(?), with its vertical pure white slits expanding out of the "pupils" in strokes.

These three sets of eyes indifferently glared at Seo Hana, who was gazing at the bright golden irises in awe. She was awestruck, there was something about those eyes that made her unable to take off her eyes from them, but unbeknownst to her, her eyes were also lit in blazing phoenix flames, that were itching themselves into her eyes without her knowledge or consent.

While gazing into the golden eyes, Seo Hana involuntarily and subconsciously kneeled and paid her respects, to whom? She didn't know, nor did she care. She just did what she felt was right.

"Long time no see." Eshwar's casual voice sounded, snapping her out of her trance due to which she jumped back up on her feet, flustered.

"....." Hana silently stared at Eshwar in perplexion.

'What happened?' She asked herself inwardly, and got an answer, albeit in a slightly unexpected way.

"You just greeted your new monarch, so, no need to be so surprised." Estate stated casually.

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"Wha.... You know what? Nevermind." Hana sighed, and her fear which had buried under her initial surprise pounced back inwardly.

Shuddering, "..... P-please answer me, are my thoughts true? Or are they something that's closer to the truth?" Hana asked, but she wasn't really asking nor did she want an answer, she knew that her thoughts were right, hence she wanted....

She just....

Wanted an excuse.

His excuse for all the things he deliberately caused.

"Mhmn." Eshwar....

'Did he just....'

Eshwar just hummed in agreement as a response.

'A hum of agreement is all I get?'

"I am White Swan, so delete that assumption of a "coincidence" from your mind." Eshwar stated, answering one of her unvoiced questions.

'.... I-it's alright, he saved many people....' Seo Hana instantly created another excuse.

"How annoying." Eshwar muttered at which Hana flinched and took a step back, halting all of her thoughts.

"I razed that city to the ground, while fighting against a demoness. Wait.... Wha...." Eshwar abruptly stopped himself.

*

No? Wait, wha? Huh?

Haven't I been acting like a protagonist until today?

Of course, there were a sh*t tonne of casualties caused by my actions, but if you think of me as a "protagonist" or a "hero," I'm not that different am I? The one difference is that things like gets unnoticed if a protagonist is involved, but you guys noticed because it was an "assumed" antagonist that was involved.

Hmmm....

Wow, that's quite a revelation?

I have only killed and reacted against those that did something to me, directly or indirectly, isn't that what a protagonist would do?

"Have I ever even acted like an antagonist?" I muttered under by breath.

Ah! To my relief, there was a time. It was when I used Faye. She was the only poor woman that didn't really deserve to die, not that I regret killing her or anything, but from my perspective, some measly act such as that doesn't make me villain, but from a certain angle it does make me a third-rate villain that bullies the weak.

"Wow, Hana! You have enlightened me! I am only realizing now that I am actually a protagonist, since I'll be the last to survivor, if any living existences lived, they'll have no real claim but to praise me as a "HERO," do you understand what I'm saying?"

Hero or a villain, these things don't really matter if you are the survivor, it takes but a tinkering which could turn around the entire story which will later on determine who was a hero and who was a villain.

If you want to be a hero, you gotta understand that you are merely living for the recognition of the insignificant. The recognition you recieve here will be like a tower built on stick which could crack at any moment, but when you live as a villain, you'll one then understand the insignificance of recognition of the insignificant, while also understanding what you are really worth to yourself.

A hero can only be satisfied with himself when those around him praise him and elate his ego as a hero, while a villain, whose kind and good natured ego is started of, cracked, due to which he/she only strives for self, and is commonly known to be selfish.

No, you do not have to be cold-hearted or a cold blooded murderer to be a villain, you just have to be calculative. The one who possess a calculative mind which instead merely calculates one's own benefits, ignorant about the opponent. He/she can then be called a villain, which is merely another kind of recognition and an opinion of the others.

"An anti-hero protagonist would be right...." I muttered under my breath, as an ominous smile crept up on my face.

"..... But now, that too is changing...."

"Why are you doing this Eshwar!?" Seo Hana abruptly asked in a roar.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, birdy."

"But," I muttered as the grin on my face widened.

"That's the right question actually."

*

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As Eshwar continued to ramble on to himself, Hana couldn't hold in her raging emotions, so

"Why are you doing this Eshwar!?" She asked.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, birdy." He casually nicknamed her, annoying her even more.

"But, that's the right question actually." Eshwar muttered and for whatever reason, Eshwar's smile which flashed his fang-like teeth made her shudder.

"It is because," Eshwar muttered, as Hana's heart began to beat like war drums in anxiety of the future and fear of the unknown.

"You are the only entertainment left for me, but you guys were making a bit too boring by halting the progression." Eshwar remarked, at which Hana's mind blanked.

'Entertainment?'

We, who were putting out lives on the line just to survive another day, were nothing but mere entertainment? He.... He is being entertained by looking at our lives being lost and being put on a cliff end? Those...how many lives were lost just hours ago? How hurt I was from loosing Jiwoo, Katharine, Violet, Seol So-Young, Charlie, Samuel, Bert, Garrick, Richard, Bobby, and all those lives that confronted against those prototypes? How many losses occurred at the beginning of the apocalypse? Ha, haha, wasn't he also the reason this apocalypse started in the first place? Why were such obvious facts about him being overshadowed by things that are much less of any real significance? Shouldn't we just ally with each other and kill this son of a bit*h? Isn't he just a f**king psychopath? Why is he talking bullsh*t about being a protagonist? Anti-hero protagonist? And what's with him not being an antagonist?

'since I'll be the last to survivor, if any living existences lived, they'll have no real claim but to praise me as a "HERO"' His words resounded in her consciousness and she understood what he meant. Why go as far as "survived existences," as if the world was going to end soon? If he said that he had just been joking since the beginning, she herself would believe him in an instant.

"Ha, hahaha....." A dead laugh leaked out of her mouth.

Isn't this funny? She thought as tears began to stream out of her eyes.

But then abruptly, 'You just greeted your new monarch, so, no need to be so surprised.' His words sounded in her consciousness again.

Despairing, "What about a new monarch?" Hana asked, lifelessly, not really expecting an answer, nor hoping to listen to what answer she would receive in response.

"Pyre." Eshwar's mutter sounded and it was then,

WHOOOOMMMMMMM-!

The domain lit up, as the being's, who had bright golden irises, dragonfly wings opened wide and lit up in a bright, blinding neon green colour, while the pulchritudinous, all elemental coloured fur on its back also lit up beautifully.

She stared lifelessly at the now visible figures. Eshwar was seen sitting, majestically and domineeringly, on a pitch-black throne, behind which stood a Bengal Tiger-like pitch-black beast with blood red irises, behind this beast was a massive head of a green furred wolf which rested its head in between its front paws, gazing at Hana curiously.

The scene in front of her demonstrated such majesty that Seo Hana would have fainted just by being in their presence, but due to her soul sucked out state, her mind wasn't really able to comprehend anything.

"He is the new monarch of this world, of course, the world itself chose him. Consider it an honour as you are the first "beast" that's able to witness the being you are destined to protect, while also being under its, no, his constant protection." Eshwar revealed a chaos ensuring fact as if it was just another unimportant talk.

"..... Is that so...." Seo Hana nodded her head, absent-mindedly.

".... What is your purpose, Eshwar....."