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144. Olivia
I had no other choice.
There is a hole, a bleeding hole in my chest, a gaping hole in the fabric of my soul, no matter how much tpasses, it never
heals, it will never heal. It keeps growing and stretching until one day, my suffering will end, and | will be reunited with that boy |
love so nrich.
All my life, | stood on the edge of a precipice, and then | fell, and | kept falling and falling until | reached murky waters and
drowned, and | keep drowning, but | never die, no matter how much | crave the peace that death promises.
Blood stains the bandage around my wrist, and it rushes through my veins, my heart is still beating, and my lungs still fill with air,
but | feel nothing except the never-ending pain in my chest.
How long will | be forced to endure this hell called life?
If only | had been faster, | would not be here right now, but free.
| scream, but no one hears me.
| cry, but no one sees me.
| suffer, but no one notices.
| exist, and yet, | don’t.
| am here, and yet, | am not.
The angel with bright white wings has destroyed me, and a demon with wings black as the night cto my rescue, but it is too
late for me. He sits within the dark, his eyes glowing red, his hands touching me, his lips whispering into my ear things only |
know, his power forcingto keep existing.
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| don’t trust him, nor his power.
What will happen when he guesses my darkest secret?
Flashback 15 years old
It's been a few months since he askedfor the first tto meet up with him in the orchard, and since then, we have been
texting daily. We even made up a cipher of our own, not wanting to be discovered by Jason or my parents by accident, as they have
a habit of checking my phone once every few days. Not only that, but | also delete the texts as soon as our conversation is over.
He cares for me. | can see it in his eyes a t| visit Camila and we hang out playing video games or making small talk. We
decided not to tell anyone about our friendship because not only is he older thanand legally an adult, but he is also a Lord, and
many won't agree with us and whatever is happening between us. | suspect Camila will disapprove as well, not because she has
something againstbeing with him, but because she knows how strict my parents are, and she would probably be worried if
they were to find out. We are being careful, though. Besides, we are not hurting anyone by talking and trying to figure out where
we see ourselves in the future, no matter if we will be
144 Olivia
together or not.
My phone buzzes with an ie text, and | put the book | am reading next toon the bed before | lean over to the nightstand.
The message is from Turqoiuse, and my heart beats a little faster. | have him listed like that because of those beautiful eyes of his.
Him: “Reading porn again, Little Bunny?”
| straighten my back and look around the room before | reply to his text. “Did you hide cameras around my room?TM
Him: “I hacked into the one Jason installed a few months ago.”
It doesn’te as a surprise that Jason is spying on me. Ever since Camila visitedhere for the first time, he has been asking
when he has girls fawning over him at school just because it is expected of him to be a future Pathriact. “You should stop with the
spying, it's creepy as fu c k.”
Him: “I just wanted to see you. Do you think we can meet today? Just the two of us in the orchard.”
| grin like a fool because it's been a while since we last went to the orchard. “Givehalf an hour, and | will be
there.”
“1 will wait for you at our spot.”
Luckily, my parents and Jason are not hsince every Saturday, they visit my grandparents, my father’s parents. They have a
bison farm with lots of land where they can hunt as well. | am seldom invited since | get too emotional when animals are killed.
| change myfy pajamas for a dress, and after | pass the brush through my hair a few times and check my makeup, | leave my
room and go get my bike. | pedal fast, eager to see him.
It doesn’t take long for the orchard behind his house toe into view. The red and yellow colors of the leaves pemindthat
Summer is over. Soon, | will be sixteen, and | will finally be able to drive a car.
| lean the bike against the fence and slowly walk to where he is waiting for me.
When hees into view, my pulse quickens. Despite wanting to believe | am more mature than most teens, | am just like them
because | have fallen for my BFF’s big brother.
He sits on a rock and is smoking, his eyes fixed on me. “You will get cancer and die,” | tease him.
“And you will catch pneumonia and die.” | hoped he wouldn't notice | am cold. He takes off his jacket and hands it over to me. | put
it on, and it smells just like him. “Sit next to me.”
| do as he asks. We sit in silence as he takes a few drags of his cigar, and | ask, “Have you been spying onfor a long
time?”
The idea of him spying ondoesn’t sit well with me.
“A few times when | missed seeing your smile, but | always ended up seeing you frowning and reading porn books,” he
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144. Olivia
chuckles before taking a long drag from his cigar. “I am going to university on Monday.” My heart drops to my stomach because |
know he will et all aboutwhen he meets girls his age. “The others have everything ready. and are waiting forto join
them.” He is talking about his friends. The University he will be attending is a few states
away.
“Oh,” it's all | manage to say because what else can | do?
He finishes his cigar and puts it out on the rock. Then pops a few caramels into his mouth. “Will you wait for me?”
| blink a few times, not sure if | heard him right. “You will meet new people at University and et all about me.”
“If that’s what you think, you are mistaken, Little Rabbit.” He takes my hand into his, interlacing our fingers. “There is something
about you, something so beautiful and pure that | want it only for myself.” He dips his head, his warm breath dancing on my skin. “I
am jealous and possessive, and | will never share you with anyone else, ever! As soon as you turn eighteen, you will be my Lady.
Only mine, Olly. | will never have blood-brothers. Mine and mine alone.”
Blood-brothers. He has explained towhat that means.
“Yes,” | breathe because | want to be only his wife.
His free handes to my hair, and he grabs my ponytail and brings my mouth close to his. “I love you, Olly,” he says before
sealing my lips with his, and | give him not only my first kiss but my heart as well.
He tastes like tobacco and peppermint caramels.
He tastes like the first and the last kiss. Like true love and sunshine.
Crazy as it sounds, | will never love someone as much as | love him.
End of flashback
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